Death, won’t do us part.

On 27 March 2012, I had an interesting day. Okay, I don’t remember much of that day, but I do remember the evening.

My cousin had a friend over for dinner, and whilst we wined, dined and enjoyed lovely desserts, nothing that was about to hit me next, remotely passed through my mind. That moment existed entirely by itself. No past or future interruptions. Just the present.

The next day for me was an early one, and far away from home in unfamiliar territory, I wanted to be prepared. I silently crept away from our dinner, went to the room, took out my clothes and just casually glanced over to my cell phone as I always do.

What did I miss? A few missed calls from my brother.

Now, I don’t usually panic, but in today’s day and age when people start calling you and don’t resort to communicating via social networks, then you know something’s up. Something either great, or not so great.

In this event, it was something not so great. My brother questioned and insisted it was true, I did not believe him. He said “Go onto Facebook.”, and there it all was, sympathetic messages and those three letters separated by full stops “R.I.P”, that we all dread.

I still could not believe it, I tried calling a friend I stopped speaking to for months, whose phone was off, then I tried other friends and when I finally got through to someone, my questions had been answered and I knew the saddest truth, I’d ever know.

My friend, T.Y.C, of seven years passed away, he died, in a horrible car crash. He’s gone.

I fell to the ground in shock, and cried my eyes out. I could not and still cannot believe it. His presence is within me, but he is lost.

He made me feel like a million bucks, he loved me and I loved him back like I have never loved anyone. When I thought about my future, he was in it. He always told me “Chanelle, my love, you’re going to be THAT GIRL in my first music video.” , and I’d always shyly respond “Yaaaa, Thato.”

I miss him so much. Somehow I couldn’t make his memorial or funeral. Life got in the way and as deeply filled as I am with regret, I know he forgives me, above all it was not meant to be.

The lessons I’ve gained from his being and death is to live for today, love, smile, laugh, be happy, be kind, forgive, and to mostly be yourself.

I frequently zone out and stare into space, thinking about him and it is as if he’s looking right back at me. I cry. I cry a hell of a lot thinking about him, reminiscing.

I yearn to tell him that I love him, and that I appreciate him. The tiniest things he did for me impacted my life like you can’t believe. He kept our friendship gold, without seeing or hearing from me for 2 years, when we finally reunited – it was as if neither of us left.

I know his soul roams about all his loved ones, and that he’s watching over all of us. BUT, I still cannot fathom that he’s not here. He’s not here. My friend whose hand I once held, voice I once heard, smile I once appreciated, is not here. Someone I could easily communicate with, is not here.

Have you lost a close friend or loved one? How did you react or handle it?

I’m waiting for the day till T.Y.C, walks up to me and says “Here I am”, till then he will always live in my heart, mind and soul, and his death will be a lesson I hold dearly to my thoughts & the way I live.

Love those around you unconditionally, live today as if tomorrow does not exist.

With Love, Chanelle.


Sorry for Party Rocking

College had already progressed for the new year,  my usual routine was already in play,  for 2011 . Wake up,  make bed, brush teeth, shower, dress, listen to 5fm , have breakfast, pack bag and leave ..

My dad would then drop me of at  a pick – up point, where my useless, ex – annoying ‘driver” and/or “transport person” would pick me up, for a half and hour, literally “hanging on the edge of my seat” journey to campus. Most days I would put in my earphones on as soon as I got into the car, no wait .. that was everyday.

Music speaks to me, music is well .. music .. unexplainable and I’m sure you have your own interpretation of it , but a day without music for me is well, to put it simply.. pointless .

So the one day for  a brief moment, whilst staring out the window, in the car, my earphones miraculously fell out of my ear (painful, I know) .. but I stopped in my own little personal tracks, and heard this song, not the whole thing, only a bit and the chorus stuck … ” Party Rock is in the house tonight, everybody just have a good time..” .. I went deaf afterwards because I didn’t hear the artist , and I wanted to kick myself  for not listening, because I had to have this song…

Later that week I heard the song again, and my brother Chazlynn also seemed to have had it by then . Eventually , and I don’t remember how, but I got “Party Rock Anthem” , originally been released on 25 January 2011 by LMFAO (RedFoo and SkyBlu) . feat Lauren Bennet and GoonRock, I managed to only realise its awesome existence mid April, right after I met Poreotics ( when the dance fire in me got ignited , once again, and has been alight ever since).

I’ll never forget how it made me feel, and even up until today , Party Rock Anthem is really a body, heart, mind and soul possessing song . It makes me feel happy to be alive, happy to be able to hear and just happy that I can shuffle ( Yeah, you read right ..) amongst many other things, It just makes me want to get up and DANCE !!!

What made me even more happy was noticing Hok from Quest Crew in the main choreography section , in the music video after RedFoo and SkyBlu say “Every Day I’m Shuffling”. That was it for me, I remembered how much I admired Quest Crew, and how I followed ABDC Season 3 in 2009 ( I was in 1st year at college at the time) and that sold me , because I have to admit that I have forgotten them for a while ,which doesn’t make me less of a supporter, but more of a silent one .

Now although, up to this very day.. I cannot get enough of anything related to music , dance, life, art, friendship and love. I love The Quest Crew beyond limitations and I hope to meet them one day .

LMFAO is really something else, their new album “Sorry For Party Rocking” has the same happy, energetic, life – loving , party – rocking feeling to it. I got it last week and it is definitely an album to collect .

For the love of life, dance, art, and fashion ..  I had to share, but a snippet of my thoughts ..

They ( Quest, LMFAO, Party Rock )  are absolute contributing inspirations for my 3rd – year fashion show range  .. ( Nov 2011)

Follow them : , ,

P.S My friends and I are halfway to learning Hok’s main choreography , just for fun, and I must say it’s hard flippin’ work ..but tons of fun.